Pregnancy Sucks for Men: What to do when your miracle makes you BOTH miserable, by Jeff Kimes

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I can officially say that I am a good husband. Yes, I can stand in line with the great ones. What’s more is that I didn’t have to risk my life to earn this prestigious and rare title. There were no heroic efforts or feats of derring-do. You see, I did exactly what I supposed to do; I read a book about my wife’s pregnancy while she was pregnant.

The book I read was Pregnancy Sucks: For Men. It was a great read and I loved it. Here’s why:

It was no easy to task to find a pregnancy book I could relate to. There are literally bookshelves, libraries even, filled with pages and pages of text written about birth and delivery. There are sections in bookstores containing mountains of books about pregnancy and for every one hundred of the books intended for girls only, there is one book marketed for guys. Most of them are terribly-written and offer little practical information. In fact, at this point in time most are out-of-date.

Pregnancy Sucks: For Men is not like this at all.

I found it in Barnes and Noble one day after deciding I was going to be a good and faithful husband by reading a book about pregnancy. Or, I probably realized that I was about to walk into a hornet’s nest of a situation and wanted evidence to remind Jacki of what a great husband I was as the due date inched closer and the hormones quickly spun out of control. I picked up the book and started reading. In place of the cold, dry information found in most of the books, there is a distinct and discernible voice behind the letters and words. When reading this book, it almost feels like my dad or best friend is telling me things I need to know and things for which I need to be prepared.

I read a few pages, closed the book so I wouldn’t ruin it, walked over the cash register and purchased it.

As I started to read, I noticed the book is conversational and isn’t afraid to say things it probably shouldn’t at times. In fact, I wonder how many times the author found himself in the doghouse after his wife realized he revealed more than he was supposed to reveal about her pregnancy. The stories were entertaining and, most of the time, I was able to empathize with what the author went through.

That seems to be the single biggest reason why I loved this book. Everything about it  seemed to echo my own experiences thus far as the husband of a pregnant woman. There is a sense of being coached by a friend who’s been through it before. I loved that.

The book itself is broken up smartly into different chapters that reflect each stage of the baby-making process: conception, months 1-9 and one chapter dedicated to after the baby is born. The chapters lined up PERFECTLY with what was happening in my life and my wife’s pregnancy. I read a chapter every month and used the book as a guidebook/preparation manual for the craziness that was about to unfold. I probably could have read it all in one afternoon, but I figured I’d forget most of it if I didn’t spread out the reading over time.

There is great advice on cooking (which I’m terrible at), cleaning, and other “womanly” chores that I normally feel somewhat less than motivated to help Jacki with. The author breaks down, in easy-to-understand terms, what’s going on in your wife’s body and what you can do to help avoid a DEFCON 1 situation. It’s a fresh relief after being so clueless in the beginning of this pregnancy. Now, I feel like an expert!

Of course, for all the good things I loved about the book, there were a couple of things I didn’t like. They were mostly pet peeves. The author, at times, fell back on stereotypical sports metaphors. Also, because of the length, some things are only glossed over. This is both a blessing (doesn’t take long to read) and a curse (you don’t get the full information sometimes). And, there is surprisingly little out-of-date information, despite a 2004 publish date, but at times talk about video tapes and pay phones reminds you that the book is older than it seems.

Despite these nitpicks, I’d heartily recommend the book to anyone who asks. It’s funny, short and a great substitute for a friend who has gone through it all before.

To wrap it up, I think this book is, ultimately, for guys who don’t know what they’ve gotten themselves into. And, If you’ve got a pregnant wife, you should already know this means you.

**Note from Jacki: Awhile back, I reviewed Pregnancy Sucks, which was written by Joanne Kimes, Jeff’s wife.

The Book: Pregnancy Sucks: What to Do When Your Miracle Makes You Miserable, by Joanne Kimes

The Story: The story is simply this: Joanne got pregnant after months and months of trying.  Joanne got whiny.

That’s basically it.

This book is set up in a month-by-month format, which is kinda funny because in the start of the book she talks about how pregnant women tend to think and talk in weeks then watch non-pregnant people scratch their heads and try to figure out how far along they are.

The idea behind this book is that women get pregnant all the time and are expected to just be overjoyed.  Meanwhile, they are getting fat, puking every hour or so, and peeing even more often than that.  But as a pregnant woman, if you mention these things you are kind of treated like a black sheep.  So the author mentions them. And mentions them and mentions them.

What I Thought: Other pregnant mothers may want to kick me. I may want to kick myself later for jinxing it, but I just have to say: I just cleared my first trimester and I’ve had a pretty easy, pretty smooth pregnancy.  Sometimes so easy that I wish that I had a symptom or two so that it seemed real.  Maybe that is why this book kind of grated on my nerves a little bit.

The thing that turned me off was that it was just full on complaining.  And saying she’d never do this again.  If I were her daughter, I’d be horrified to read this when I got older and realize how miserable I’d made my mom and how she chose to share it with the world. I don’t know why, but I kept thinking of that the whole time I was reading this book.

I’ll give it to Joanne, there really were some funny parts, but for me, this book was pretty much right in the middle of Belly Laughs and What to Expect.  Where Belly Laughs was mostly silly little stories that were easy to relate to, and What to Expect was pretty much full blown fear mongering, this one was funny in parts but also chock full of medical advice.  It says in the acknowledgements that she teamed up with a OB/GYN who filled her in on medical stuff and checked her on everything, which was comforting.  I did get good tips from this book, so I can’t bash it too hard- I just wish that she would have balanced her complaints with some cheery stuff every once in a while.

My husband actually bought the companion to this book, Pregnancy Sucks For Men, and he said he’ll do a guest review when he’s done.  He’s been reading The Stand since last February though, so he’ll probably get through this one when our kid is in 4th or 5th grade.

Conclusion: More informed than Belly Laughs, but not as funny.  Less scary than What to Expect, but just as negative.  I would maybe recommend this to someone who is being put through the ringer by her belly buddy, but not to someone who is having an easier go, or is just more relaxed about pregnancy in general.