The Book: To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up Without a Father, by Donald Miller

The Story: When Donald Miller was pretty young, his Dad just walked out on his family.  He was raised mainly by his mom, but had several male influences (including neighbors and his youth pastor) come in and out of his life.  As he grew up and became a Christian, he started thinking about how growing up fatherless has effected his life- specifically his perspective on God.  This book is kind of his reflections on that.

What I Thought: The other day we were at Chic-fl-a (which is my absolute favorite, by the way!) and we heard a man talking to a table full of people and he said something to the effect of, “So if my son misbehaves and I spank him and he continues to do the same thing over and over, do I continue to extend grace over and over? No.  And God is our father and at some point he stops extending grace if we continue to mess up.”  I kind of wanted to go over to him and tell him that no matter how his father failed him and no matter how thin his patience is worn with his son, God is not an earthly father and his grace really does go on and on and on and on.  The God-as-a-father analogy is a tricky one because we all have this notion of what a father is and how that plays out. This book is just the exploration of that very idea.

I call it an “exploration” because it is just that.  There’s nothing groundbreaking here and not even a real conclusion, but more so just a collection of thoughts and experiences that he has had throughout his life.  It is kind of this incomplete thing, and I think that that is why this is not one of Donald Miller’s more popular books, but for those of us who did grow up without a father, it is a pretty good read.

This was marketed more towards men, but as a woman I still got a lot out of it and I think that they have since re-titled and re-released the book for women & men.

Maybe some people that grew up without fathers sat around bemoaning their luck or whatever, but like Donald Miller, I just kind of took it all in stride.  It wasn’t until I got engaged… then married… then had a baby that I really started thinking about how much that had shaped me into the person I am.  When he got old enough to think it through, Donald Miller also realized that the person that he is has been really shaped by his father (or lack thereof).  It was just kind of good to know that someone else is in the same boat.

Conclusion: Not Donald Miller’s best and not life changing, but if you grew up without a dad, I’d say check this out.

The Book: A Million MIles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life, by Donald Miller

The Story: Six or seven years ago, Donald Miller kind of rose to Christian stardom after his memoir Blue Like Jazz got super, super popular.  I guess a while later, some guys came to Donald and asked him if he wanted to make the memoir into a movie.  He jumped at the chance.

This book is kind of his journey through that.  Because they involved Donald Miller heavily in the process of writing the movie, he was partly responsible for “editing” his life.  He went to a seminar and did a lot of reading on the important parts of a story: the rising and falling action, the characters, and so on.  At some point, someone tells him that any story is, “A character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.”

Donald starts applying these ideas and the principles of a “good story” to his life so that he’ll have something interesting to talk to God about when he gets there.

What I Thought: I jumped on the Donald Miller train way early with Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance (which he changed up and later republished as Through Painted Deserts)  and I’ve been following him closely all along.

When I started this book, I felt a little disappointed because the first few chapters sort of re-tell a lot of his story that he told in Blue Like Jazz.  I thought maybe he just needed a few extra bucks and so he was just going to try to rerelease Blue Like Jazz without anyone noticing.  After a few chapters though, it becomes pretty obvious that this is a book unto itself.

The ideas that Donald Miller explores here are kind of convicting and pretty provocative.  He was thinking about what would make his “story” better- how his “character” could be better- and he starts taking the steps that it would take to make that happen.  He bikes across the country.  He hikes the Inca Trail.  He tries to find his estranged father.  He goes out on a limb with the girl he has a crush on. He quits watching so much TV and really starts to live.

I love Donald Miller’s style of writing.  It is conversational and flows beautifully.  He makes me feel “normal” because he struggles with a lot of the same things I do- ego, boredom, contentment.  I just found myself nodding a long so many times.  He hits the nail right on the head.  I hate to say something so cliche as, “this is a life changing book,” but it actually kind of is.  It just offers this new, fresh perspective and I know that I’ll find myself thinking about it for a long time.

Conclusion: I would read Blue Like Jazz before this one, but if you’ve already read that: read this now. We’re talking right now. Go get it. Good stuff.

The Book: Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality, by Donald Miller

The Story: Donald Miller grew up in a vaguely Christian environment, going to church and hearing the stories but never quite wrapping his head around it.  This is the story of him fleshing it all out.

He kind of “comes to age” in Oregon and is just kind of this hippy guy and attends Reed college and has friends that he gives strange nicknames to.  He goes to a church that focuses strongly on community and ends up living in a house full of guys.

This book is just about that journey.  He doesn’t go into the deep or very controversial issues, but more so what the Bible says and what that would look like lived out.

What I Thought: Let me preface this by saying I read this book when it first came out and was just blown totally away.  This was when the “emerging church” was just emerging and I thought it was refreshing and amazing and great. By now, that movement has been taken to the extreme.  I think that they started off on the right path and just went too far. I think that this book was maybe the start of that.  I know at the time I was part of a huge Christian community and people were obsessed with it.

That being said, I love Donald Miller’s honesty.  It’s striking.  Most Christian books slap you around a little for not believing and tell you to get into the word and pray. Which is good advice, but it is nice to hear from someone that that’s ok to stumble and we’ve all been there.  He talks a lot about his insecurities, with women and writing and friendships and just life overall. Not only does this make him relatable, it touches a place inside that isn’t frequently touched.  Even with close friends I rarely hear this kind of honesty and it is just nice. That is the part of his character that I really love and admire.

I feel like this book is pretty much a bound blog.  It is just these little sections of rambling on about one topic or another.  The chapters aren’t really cohesive or chronological or anything, so sometimes it becomes a little hard to follow and keep track of what he’s even talking about.

The part that I loved the most the first time I read it and this time was the part where they set up a confession booth at Reed.  People laughed at them, but then when students went in, instead of having to confess their sins, Donald and his friends confessed that as Christians we’ve screwed up and confessed to different occasions and people were truly touched.  I like that story. I love that they were willing to do that and the reactions were priceless I thought.

Conclusion: An interesting take on Christianity, but I think it should be taken with a grain of salt.  Not much balance here…